Random Voice

Holidays and time passing

2009-01-03T06:54:00.000-08:00

Well, the holidays are over and not a moment too soon. Do you think I'm a dork for putting the tree decorations away Christmas afternoon? Well, at least the dishes are still out. But not for long. I plan to put those away this weekend.

It's not that it was a bad holiday season. In fact, it was quite pleasant. It just wasn't spectacular. I mean, it's a lot to ask to have the best holiday EVER each time, isn't it? Thanksgiving was here and we had about 10 for dinner. The house was full of babies and toddlers. That was actually a lot of fun. Watching them interact was a blast. They all get on quite well. Christmas was quiet, as usual. Next year, I think G will really be starting to "get it" and it should be getting really fun. The family party was last saturday but the timing didn't work for us as it was in the morning. By the time C got home from work and G. woke from his nap, it was over. Oh well. We might host next year as we'll have the baby and it might be easier than trying to travel. We'll see how it goes.

All's well on the baby front -- last u/s showed him measuring one week ahead which isn't surprising as G measured ahead for his entire gestation. I've started talking to G a little bit about a sibling/new baby but he doesn't much care. I'm not sure how much he can really understand at this point anyway. It's so far away, it probably doesn't much matter.

In G's world things are just fabulous. His vocabulary is finally starting to grow leaps and bounds. I caught myself from cussing last week when someone took a parking space I had my eye on and now when he want's a laugh from me he yells, "AWWWWW FUDGE!". He's starting to get that tape recorder quality in his vocabulary -- we've got to start being careful with the words we're choosing!

And 2 words that sum up my free time lately: Mob Wars

I find myself

2008-11-29T10:03:00.001-08:00

I find myself posting again.
I find myself pregnant again.

OK, it wasn't quite like that. Not the proverbial OOPS! pregnancy that people like me dream about. I actually transferred the last 2 of our 5 frozen embryos in September after a failed cycle in July. To my amazement and C's suprise, it actually worked! Interestingly enough, the blogosphere is the first to know with the exception of immediately family. Hell, even G doesn't know yet and he lives with us. Of course, with him being only 20 months, it's easy to keep secrets from him. So according to this due date calculator, I'm 11 weeks today. I think I'll hold off telling people for a few more weeks. It still seems too early for my comfort.

In the meantime, this afternoon we'll head for my brother and sister-in-law's house. They've got a 2 year old and 8 month old twins. It always makes me feel better about how I view the chaos around here.

Back in the Saddle Again

2008-05-04T08:18:00.001-07:00

Friday, I went to my aunt Anita's wake. I loved her dearly. Somehow while I was there, I volunteered to create and manage a web site for the family, including messageboard and photo albums. I'm not exactly sure how that happened but I'm just as happy to do it. At least I still feel like I'm kind of in touch with the wired world. I've been working on it for 2 days and still can't manage to get it published. I avoided the DNS issues by publishing to the IP address but replication is taking forever on their live servers and I still can't see the site. That's not bad enough, but I'm using a new web design client called Microsoft Expression Web. It's a Cadillac compared to FrontPage, the client I'm familiar with using. My plan is to get it online and beg the family for help. I'm sure someone knows more about web page design than I do. I hope. No, I really hope. *sigh*

Some people just suck

2008-04-10T08:16:00.000-07:00

I think when you sell your house you should advertise it like a car or any other like-valued asset: "free to good home", "300K or BO", etc. Here's why:

We're in the process of looking for a new house now that we've finally sold the seattle house. We found one we could work with. it's not our dream house by any means, but it's got all the right features and is in a great location. The biggest down side is that it needs a lot of work: new kitchen, new roof, new deck, pool work, the garage is actually falling backwards, among other things. So we offer what is a fair price minus some of the biggest repairs it needs right away. We figured that if the sellers are interested in negotiating, they'll counter with someehting close to the middle or maybe a little bit higher. Do they? noooooo. they counter for 5k less than the full price. What I want to know is how in the HELL is this a negotiation? Why didn't they just say, "price firm" or not counter?

I hate this part. I had to try 3 or 4 times to get a house in seattle -- every deal kept falling thru. So we're back at the beginning and really there's not much here to look at. we're probably going to be at this for a while. *sigh*

on blogging

2008-04-08T08:26:00.000-07:00

The truth is, I miss it when I don't post. I was thinking about it today and was wondering why I seem so attracted to typing out my random thoughts and then inviting anyone to read it. First off, why should someone care? But okay let's just say that someone does care. Why would I want to share most of this stuff with people anyway? Some of it's personal but really most of it is just plain weird. But I do it because I do. I'm not sure it's strong enough to be a need but I'm really drawn to it. The whole idea of blogging and reading others' blogs fascinates me and I spend hours getting caught up with folks that I grow a great fondness for. The community, by and large, is hugely attractive.

I think being physically isolated is probably a big factor. The transition back to a rural area is proving challenging. I wouldn't change it for a minute but I frequently find myself missing being involved in a fast paced lifestyle. Just things like being connected. Not many people really "on the internet" here in the same way my friends in Seattle are.

My spiffy new computer helps, too. It's so sweet! We've been running Vista Ultimate on our 4 or 5 year old Inspiron 8200 with only 512MB of memory. That just hurts. It does okay but we try not to work it too hard so it doesn't just implode. I think it's got some hardware issues, too. The hard drive sounds like it's going to melt any second.

Spring is here and it's a perfect time to begin again.

You know, I never introduced this blog and people read it. Then, I disappear. So it seems apt that I return without comment.

Life: What a long strange trip

2007-08-14T09:49:00.000-07:00

OK, I think I'm back. For real this time.

So much to catch up on but first I should just tell the world that the love of my life arrived on March 5, 2997 at 10:45 PM. He was born at 37 weeks gestation (3 weeks early) and was 7 pounds 9 ounces -- 20 inches. His name is Gregory David.

He's the happiest, cutest baby ever. Of course. He's also napping upstairs as I type. What a good boy to let his momma tell the world about him. Until I catch up, here's a picture to keep you busy:

More later as I hear him stirring from his nap upstairs. I just wanted to get started. Life tends to happen in 15 minute increments these days.

"Everything's Fine!"

2007-01-07T08:17:00.000-08:00

Well, December was a whale of a month for me. I'll try not to bore you any more than necessary.

During the 2nd week (12th & 13th) we went on a "babymoon" to Salish Lodge and had a fabulous time. It was only 2 nights and 25 miles away but it seemed like a month at a far away resort. The accommodations were luxurious, the food devine and the spa treatments were heavenly. Unfortunately, the weather wasn't very cooperative. The last night of our stay, western Washington was hit with a huge wind storm and over 1.5 million homes/businesses, etc. lost power. The lodge wasn't immune. We checked out in the dark, came home to a dark house and went to get our dogs from the trainers where they'd been in the dark. It was a long day. Our power was restored late that night, which was faster than most. We're lucky to be on the same substation as the local hospital. We always have better power service than others nearby.

Mom & Dad were here over the holidays and were quite generous with the shopping. Bought us 3 pieces of beautiful furniture for the nursery at USA Baby. In this picture, the crib and the dresser on the left in the main picture and then the hutch that fits over that dresser (hutch not pictured anywhere). They also payed the balance of the glider that we ordered in November and bought a bunch of nursery accessories from BabiesRUs for us. I'm excited to finally pull the nursery together. C. finished painting it tonight so tomorrow I can at least start hanging clothes in the closet and stuff. My mom and I have a serious jigsaw puzzle addiction and worked on a Springbok 1500 piece puzzle while they were here. I finished it days after they left and have purchased a new one. I'm thinking I might start that today but it seems something always gets in the way of my leisure plans.

New Year's eve was fun, as usual. Every year for the last several years we head for K's house to have some fabulous "white trash" food and watch the Twilight Zone marathon on Sci-Fi channel. Recently it's been even more fun because we can TiVo our favorite episodes and pick and choose what we watch. The menu consisted of white trash weenies (Pillsbury crescent rolls around lil' smokies), beef tips in demi-glaze, chips & dip, bleu cheese salad dipped stuffed french rolls, deviled eggs, and my favorite... Whoopie Pies! Knowing that I had a Dr's appointment on Wednesday, I held back to 2 whoopie pies and then that biatch K sent THREE home with us. I didn't eat any of them before my appt though. I'm such a good girl, doncha think? We made it home and were in bed in time to ring in the New Year. Which, by the way, is an improvement over recent years. Generally, we're asleep by 11. Yeah, I know we're boring.

Wednesday after New Year's I had another big OB appointment and level II ultrasound. Here's the highlights:

Ultrasound: normal fetus, normal amniotic fluid level, normal organs, baby breech and facing backwards and measuring 30.5 weeks. Estimated weight 3.5 pounds. Some concern from the radiologist that the baby is measuring so big for his age and told me that the IUGR we were initially worried about can be completely dismissed at this point. heh.

GD screening: Drank the glucola at the end of the ultrasound. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be either drinking it or dealing with all the sugar in my system for the next couple of hours. Made me more confident that I was doing ok with the glucose levels but still worried 'cause (1) you never know and (2) BIG baby

Weight: Lost 3 pounds. Dr. seemed happy with that (well, as happy as she ever seems) but did ask me a few times if I was eating any carbs at all. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA she doesn't know me very well. I DREAM carbs.

Fundal height: I'm measuring at exactly 28 weeks. She said I'm really hiding him in there since he's so big already. She also expressed concern about his being big for his age and we both just presumed it's GD, the blood work would confirm it, and we moved on to another subject.

Blood pressure: 122/70 -- still great

Urine: normal

Blood draw: 2 vials -- blood sugar and iron levels.

She asked if we were having him circumsized and if I'd chosen a pediatrician yet.

The last 2 weeks, I've been feeling REALLY tired all the time. I think worse than the first few weeks. I just presumed that it was my iron levels finally crashing. It's so normal to have iron deficiency in pregnancy anyway and since I started with such a disadvantage with my hematocrit levels, it seems an easy presumption to make.

So the nurse called yesterday and left a message on my cell phone that I got when I left the office for home: Blood sugar -- normal; Iron levels -- normal; final ultrasound result -- normal. "So, everything's normal! Call if you have any questions and see you at your next appointment!"

Our childbirth classes start tuesday. Eight weeks worth! The first 6 weeks are childbirth prep and then one week of breastfeeding and then a week of newborn care.

We got the car seat today -- the recent news from consumer reports was so apropos. I was at BabiesRUs when they opened yesterday and bought the snugride "emerson" or whatever that ugly plaid color is. I wasn't totally in love with it but I wanted to have SOMEthing. I went later in the day to another local baby store in the midst of a 15% off everything sale (MAN that place was humming!) and saw the snugride metropolitan. I really liked that so I ordered one and it'll be in on Wednesday. I also liked that they can show us what strollers are compatible so C. and I are going to go up at some point before the sale ends so he can test drive some for height. He tends to kick the wheels of the shorter ones. So I returned the first one at the end of the day. Before they could finish the refund, It was at the register in someone else's hands. Those Graco's are literally flying out of the store.

K and I got the paper for the shower invites yesterday so we can get those sent out. They're in the shape of a hippo -- SO CUTE.

Next up: finalizing the stroller purchase decision. I'll try to be better now about keeping up to date.

again with the scale

2006-12-06T14:03:00.000-08:00

Blood pressure, despite having it checked after the weigh-in (CHECK)
Urine Protein (CHECK)
Fundal Height (CHECK)
Overall well-being (CHECK)

So it turns out that I'm on track for a "normal" pregnancy as far as my weight gain goes. What my body is failing to recognize is that evidently I'm experiencing an abnormal one. So I went 5 rounds again with the doctor over diet, weight and exercise. It's actually starting to get a bit comical when I'm not just plain pissed about it. I'm tempted to type up a paper with my exercise routine on it so I can hand it to her for my chart on the next visit. I'm bloody well sick of having the exact same conversation with her about it every single time I see her. For the record I'm net +5 according to them. That's in 8 weeks. The scale at the gym that I've been using shows net +2 as of 7:30 this morning so I'm not sure what to make of that.

Next appointment is January 3 and I'm scheduled for a 1 hour glucose tolerance test, hemotcrit & serum ferretin blood draw and Level II ultrasound for growth. When she told me about the GD test, she almost made it sound like she wanted me to have GS -- I get the impression it would explain the weight gain to her. I know it's not GD; I just have the metobolism of a snail and I always have. Why do you think I weigh this much now despite the working out?

So I'm trying to keep my eyes on the prize and think about how happy I will be to have our little boy in our lives, but honestly, it's really difficult. All of my thoughts are preoccupied with worry about the scale and that leaves precious little room for anything else in my thought bubbles. I'm getting less and less tolerant of people who aren't supportive of me and that includes my OB. I suspect sooner or later, she or some other poor unsuspecting person will hear me blasting with both barrels.

For today, life goes on. I'm feeling great and have no complaints about how my pregnancy is going, unsupportive physicians aside. I've been feeling him kick pretty consistently for a few weeks and can't wait until C. can feel him from outside my belly. He seems to think this whole "honey the baby's kicking -- put your hand here, QUICK" is some conspiracy made up by women who want to keep men on a short leash.

Speaking of C. he had his "Conscious Fathering" class Saturday and really liked it. He came home with all kinds of information and wanted to go to the bookstore for some recommended books. I think he's starting to get really excited. I've been reading Vicki Iovine's book Girlfriends' Guide to Surviving the First Year of Motherhood and a couple of breastfeeding books. I've already finished Heading Home Your Newborn, which I've passed off to C. for his reading pile. I'm open for recommendations of course.

Next up: Car seat safety class this weekend. Two nights at a beautiful spa/resort next week and then my parents come to town on the 20th. While they're here we hope to get lots of early shopping done and firm up our gift registry. We're also scheduled for our infant CPR class that week and the tour of Labor & Delivery. OB appointment on Jan 3 and then the childbirth classes start. It's all starting to happen so fast!

Shocking!

2006-11-16T09:53:00.000-08:00

On my way home last night, a power wire snapped from a pole about 3 cars behind me as I waited at a traffic light. It was so powerful that I felt the shock from it come from the steering wheel up both arms and through my body. It felt like a really really big shock from a really powerful electric pasture fence. except bigger.

My first thought was "well, if I'm ok, the baby's ok" then a few minutes later I thought "holy shit, the baby's in water!" I tried to call my mom (a RN) when I got home but she wasn't answering so I ended up calling the Dr's office. The triage nurse called me back, told me she'd talked to the dr on call and they wanted me to go for a non-stress test. They told me that they may not be able to actually do it because I'm still so early, but they wanted to try. They also said to be prepared to be there for several hours.

So C. met me at the hospital. They checked my blood pressure, heart, temperature then listened to the baby. Everything was great and they called the Dr. who came in and told me that she didn't think a non-stress test was necessary. I told her I'd feel better if I could feel the baby moving a little - I hadn't felt movement since it happened. She offered an ultrasound and I was gleeful! When I told her that if she could peek between the baby's legs and let me know if she saw anything, she'd have done more than any radiologist to date, she said "oh, well now we HAVE to do an ultrasound!" So we saw the baby -- it was moving! and... definately a boy!

She did say that it wasn't a wasted call -- I did the right thing. she was going to go onto the internet and check pubmed and a couple of other sites to see what information is out there about electrical shock in pregnancy but did warn me not to google. She calls the internet the "worrynet".

So I waited until I got home to google. (c'mon, you knew I would!). note to you googlers out there: do NOT google "+electrical shock +pregnancy". You'll be sorry.

And now I'm worried.

*sigh*

bock bock bock bock bock

2006-11-08T21:17:00.000-08:00

Well, we have a very healthy baby. Still measuring 1 week ahead and everything looked great. Unfortunately for us, it's a very uncooperative baby. Radiologist is 80% certain that it's a boy, but the umbilical cord was between his legs and the Dr. couldn't really get a good view. He said that he sees something right next to where the cord is, but couldn't be sure.

OB appointment went OK, too. The Dr. was on call and running late due to deliveries so I was seen by one of the nurse practitioners. (didn't upset me a single bit as you might imagine). Urine protein was good, blood pressure was good (117/74), gained *GASP* 2 pounds (but nothing was said) and had blood drawn for hematocrit and ferritin levels. She encouraged me to keep going to the gym as long as I'm comfortable and wrote a prescription for massage therapy as necessary. I'll be using it for physical therapy, I think. I have at least 2 more ultrasounds scheduled -- 28 weeks and either 34 or 36 weeks. The Dr. called me this evening and apologized for not seeing me earlier today -- went over the results of the ultrasound and the appointment notes. She confirmed that we'll have more chances to verify the gender. Best yet, didn't mention the weight! I forgot to get a flu shot while I was in there, but the Dr. told me that the shot offered at the plant is fine, so I'll be getting one at work next week.

I've been going to the gym every day but admittedly, crunches are getting more difficult. I'm hanging in though. I'm not quite ready to give up yet. Interestingly, this weekend, I considered getting a couple of personal training sessions at the gym just to verify that I'm on track with the prenatal workouts. I did a search on my gym's site for trainers that specialize in prenatal (my gym has close to 90). Of the 90, there are only 6 with this specialty. As coincidence would have it, the trainer that teaches the class that I take 3 days a week is one of them. Well, that saved me a bundle of money. I guess there's no need for the private sessions. I get all the information and ask all of the questions I need during class.

So after the appointments today, we went to lunch then shopping at Babies R Us. I was too chicken to buy anything. *sigh* tomorrow's another day.

Overdue Post

2006-10-25T08:45:00.000-07:00

Friday's weigh in results: net -1 pound.

We've been using the doppler every night and it seems from the sounds that we're having a pony. I hope it's a small, cute pony.

All's fair in love and war...

2006-10-17T20:50:00.000-07:00

When C. and I developed our new "you're gaining too much weight" strategy, we decided that I'd weigh myself with the same scale at the gym each week and use that number to guage how well we're doing with the strategy. Since I did the first weigh-in on Friday, I'd continue to weigh on Fridays. I broke down today and weighed -- I've lost 2 pounds since last Friday. Lest you think that I've somehow developed an eating disorder in 4 days, let me assure you... NOT TRUE. I still luuuuuv food. It's all part of this strategy. Even the beautiful, yummy steak fries I had for lunch today :-D

On my way home, I got a Vmail from Hitler's office, er, I mean the OB's office on my cell. They said that the quad screen came back "normal", whatever THAT means, and that they'd see me at my next appointment. I always thought there were numbers associated with it -- not just "normal" "not normal". I might ask them when I'm there.

So if you're scoring today -- pretty good day. On the slate for tomorrow: Call The Gap and try to get another pair of pants. I ordered a pair a few weeks ago and they are the most fabulous pants EVER. Now, of course I can't find them in the store and can't figure out which ones they are online.

Tipping the scales... Literally

2006-10-15T12:07:00.000-07:00

Ok, I could have been sucking in my abs more, but this is a picture taken at 15w6d. It was also taken prior to the asskicking I got from the OB wednesday.

Other than the asskicking, which I'll get to later, the appointment was great. Bloodwork still normal, including iron count (no supplemental iron necessary) and folate. Urine is normal (sugar & protein). Blood pressure is also still low. She listened to the baby's heartbeat with the doppler and said it's great.

But she says I'm gaining too much weight. I've gained 9 pounds total so far and because I'm tracking for 30 pounds total she's concerned. Honestly, I'm not too concerned. I'm doing my own tracking and have gained 2 pounds since 11 weeks. I must have seriously packed on some pounds between 8 & 11 weeks. Plus, C. is making my meals now to take to work and we're having lighter dinners (salads, etc.) so I'm not going to bed with such a full stomach. We'll see how it works. I expect it'll be fine.

In other news, my parents have graciously offered to buy us a crib. Mom sent me a link to one style that caught her eye, and I really like it. My parents are coming out to visit us for Christmas (our first out-of-town Christmas guests since we moved here 11 years ago!) and we'll go look for cribs and order one then. I'm also planning to do the registry then. Lordy, I can't believe I'm actually planning to do a gift registry!!

Next appt: Level II ultrasound (fetal growth scan), November 8

It just got better

2006-10-07T09:04:00.000-07:00

Well, I couldn't stand it another moment.

Until now, I'd always been skeptical of people I'd heard about who were 5, 6 or more months pregnant and didn't know it. Well, more to the point, I'd always thought they were either big fat liars of just stupid. I am here to tell you today that I officially understand it. If it weren't for my clothes not fitting, I'd never know I'm pregnant. I hear stories about people with food cravings and aversions, crying at TV commercials, super sensitive skin, gag reflexes, etc. I don't experience a single bit of that.

Three things happened recently that caused some nervousness:

My 11 week NT scan showed a strong heartbeat but the baby wasn't moving, despite the poking and prodding of the ultrasound tech.
Someone on one of the boards that I post to went in for her 15 week check and the baby's heartbeat had stopped sometime after her 11 week appoinment. She had no idea whatsoever.
I went to the dentist last Monday and they told me that generally speaking they can spot a pregnant woman right away by looking at her gums but my gums looked healthy and great!

So combine all this with the fact that I have no symptoms and feel great (except for the fat thing), I've been a nervous wreck.

So C. and I rented a fetal doppler. It arrived yesterday. We tried it last night when he got home from work and he found the heartbeat right away. I feel much better now. I guess the alternative is that I'm always calling the doctor's office. Next appointment: Wednesday

* * * * *

In other news... I convinced C. to take the sign language class with me and we're having a fabulous time! It's going really well and we're looking foward to signing with our baby as soon as we can.

It's Still Not Real

2006-09-14T13:40:00.000-07:00

I can't explain it but I think Meg said it best, really. It's so very hard to relax and enjoy this pregnancy when I know that so many of my friends are still suffering. Additionally, I realize every moment that it can be my last moment... That this can end at any time. That's never far from my mind.

* * * *

Having said all that, I'll move on to the NT scan and OB appointment. It was actually last week, not yesterday but even though it went well, I didn't feel so great about it afterward so I haven't posted. The truth is that I feel very disconnected right now. Disconnected from both the pregnancy and from other pregnant friends -- online and IRL friends. Ok let me just get it out. After all, confession is good for the soul, right?

First I went for the NT scan. I was 11w1d and it was a milestone. My first transabdominal ultrasound! The tech asked how I was doing and I told her that I was a little nervous because I'd had some brown spotting that morning. Thank goodness she didn't tell me that brown spotting was fine. I'd have killed her. My miscarriage last year made itself known with some brown spotting and that was the same ultrasound office that did the verification after the Dr. couldn't find the heartbeat anymore. But like I said, she didn't say anything and just started the ultrasound. The first thing I noticed was that the baby wasn't moving. I was literally laying there holding my breath. She showed me the heartbeat and said it was fine. I felt better after that and just watched her do the measurements while I tried to remember them all. The CRL (crown to rump length) was 52mm which translates to 11.9 weeks so it's consistently a week ahead. The heartrate was 161. The NT measurement was 1.3mm and I'm told that anything under 3mm is great. She showed me the blood pumping thru the umbilical cord and the regions of the brain with the color doppler. It was really cool. So that was all good. She gave me a couple of pictures and offered the rest room to me before I left. Just as I was about to pee I remembered that I have to give a urine sample at each OB visit so I zipped up and just headed for the lab for my blood draw. As soon as that was over, I went up to the Dr's office.

Here's the background that you need to have before the doctor's appointment: The Thursday prior to the appointment, I called for the 8w bloodwork results. The Dr. called me back with them later that afternoon. Mind you, I haven't met her yet but she was highly recommended by many people. She called and said that by and large the bloodwork was great. No STDs, thyroid is fine, blood sugar was great, etc. The only issue was my hemotcrit which was 29 (normal range for an adult female is 37-45). She advised that I begin taking iron. Now, without going into any sordid details, I have a blood disorder called Beta Thalassemia Minor that masks itself as anemia with the little exception that any extra iron in my blood causes overload, a very dangerous and often fatal condition. Since I was a kid, I've been told not to take any extra iron and if I am, NEVER more than 9mg a day. She was recommending 60mg of elemental iron daily. Several times during the phone conversation I expressed my concern about taking iron based on hematocrit levels alone. The truth is that hematocrit levels and iron levels aren't necessarily correlated. Most often in the general population they are, which is why it's done so often but for Thals, it's not a correlation at all necessarily. So when all was said and done, I bought the iron pills but decided not to take them until after I had a chance to talk to her at the appointment on Tuesday. I wanted to 1. get her to draw blood for a serum ferritin test that would tell the actual levels of iron in the blood and 2. get a referral to a hematologist that's familiar with Thal for additional analysis and recommendations.

The appointment was less exciting and more stressful than the ultrasound. I gave the urine sample, got weighed, had my blood pressure taken and waited for the doctor. The good news is that I didn't have to mention the Thal. or Iron at all. She'd quite obviously done a good deal of homework between the time we spoke on the phone and the appointment. She immediately offered to order the serum ferritin test and let me know that if it indicated an iron deficiency, she'd recommend the lowest dose of iron and would continue to check hematocrit, and ferritin levels at each visit. She also said that she'd be doing an ultrasound at every visit to monitor fetal growth as Thals have a slightly elevated risk for IUGR (inter uterine growth retardation) babies than the general population.

Here's the stressful/less exciting part: *sigh* naturally she brought up my weight. First she told me she didn't want me to gain any more than 15 pounds. Which is fine except she never told me how to actually do that. She told me to eat right and C. confirmed that I already am. She told me she wants me to walk at least 30 minutes every day. I asked her if that's in addition to the gym. She looked at me in a surprised way and asked "what do you do at the gym?" Fighting the urge to give her the answer she was looking for, I told her the truth -- that I take a circuit training class 3 days a week and the other days I usually jump on the elliptical trainer for 30 minutes of cardio. She said to keep doing that and she wants me to do that every day until at least 30 weeks. She never did answer my question.

So I never heard back about the iron levels and have spent every day worrying that I'm gaining weight even though I'm eating the exact same or less than I was eating before. Not to mention that fertility drugs really make you pack on the pounds and I've been on them for almost 4 years straight. I'm not sure what kind of miracle she's expecting. I'm trying hard to keep in mind that I don't have to love this woman -- just have to be confident that she's got my best interest at heart and is working toward a healthy baby for me. That's not an issue. The only issue I have is the way she handled it. How difficult would it have been for her to find out about my exercise, nutrition and lifestyle before she started pounding on the weight thing. Also, she clearly came into the conversation with some preconceived notions. I guess that's the crux. But I'm trying to let it go. It's pretty challenging though. The gym used to be fun. These days it's a huge chore. *sigh* Hopefully it'll start being fun again really soon.

I go back October 11. November 8 is the Level II fetal survey ultrasound. We should be able to find out the gender at that one.

* * * * *

Wednesday I'm starting an ASL (American Sign Language) class at a local community college. My major at college was Deaf Studies, but I've forgotten just about everything. Especially the grammar and syntax of the language. I do remember some of the signs, but couldn't use them in a sentence if you put a gun at my head. It's an 8 week class.

On the heals of that, C. and I are taking a "Sign with baby" class. That starts in early November. I love the idea that babies can sign long before their verbal skills catch up. Bonus points because the class uses ASL signs and not made-up baby signs.

How Can I be so Sure?

2006-09-02T14:52:00.000-07:00

If you don't want to hear whining from women who might or might not but are probably pregnant, stop reading. That's exactly what this post is about.

If it weren't for the fact that I have pictures taken just over a week ago, I'm not sure I'd know I'm pregnant. Well, and then I have to use the bathroom. That's the dead giveaway. Maybe it's the lack of "morning sickness", but I don't think so. I think that I'm just having a hard time accepting the reality that this might actually really be happening to me.

Having said all that, I have my NT ultrasound tuesday morning followed by an OB appointment. Maybe that'll help.

NO! MORE! SHOTS!

2006-08-26T18:45:00.000-07:00

OK, I can't help it. It's just so great to not have 1cc of sesame oil injected into my hip every morning anymore. Those effers weren't fun. At all. I got the "AOKAY" at the RE's office yesterday to discontinue the meds. I won't lie -- I'm more than a little nervous about it. I mean, hell, I'm technically not even 10 weeks yet (but don't tell the little overachiever that. It measured 10w2d yesterday). But I do trust Dr. H. and he said it'd be ok, so it must be true.

So yeah, I went for my final RE appointment yesterday. Got a CD with a boatload of pictures on it, including ones from the past 3 weeks. I've replaced the crap ones I put in the last entry with the good ones for those of you keeping score at home. Like I said earlier, fetus was still measuring ahead and the heartrate continues to rise. It was 176 BPM yesterday. I guess that's good, I'm not really sure. Either way, they gave me a copy of my records and kicked me to the curb. They did invite me back to visit sometime, and since my OB's office is on the floor below them in the same medical building, I think I can manage that.

Here are more boring pictures. If you click on one, it will render full-sized. Be sure to click the "back" button to return to read more blog! heh:

ARM!

FEET!

Face:

Fingers:

Legs:

So the bottom line is that I'm just an average pregnant lady now, I guess. It feels weird, reasurring and petrifying all at the same time. I'm quite used to be coddled and spoiled and hope that I don't get lost in that big practice. Dr. H. really loves the OB that I've chosen and told me that during her internship rotation with him, he tried to get her to become an RE -- no go! So there's a recommendation that makes me feel better.

On the non-fertility front, Stella (my Rottweiler) and I have started RALLY classes. She's a natural! We're training at the same farm where we herd sheep so we've got both activities on the same day. It's going to be fun. She really loves it. Now we actually have homework every night.

Whew! If you've read this far, thanks! You're a true friend. Now, it's pizza time. I'll post more when I can.

You're doomed -- the pictures have already started

2006-08-20T08:55:00.000-07:00

It won't end now. Seriously. You think pictures of vacation, trips to visit family and parties are boring, you ain't seen nothin' yet. I've already started with the pictures of the baby. AHAHAHAHAHA.

I finally got some ready but first the update: RE appointment Friday. Everything looks good. Fetus measured 6 days ahead (9w3d) and it's hand was wiggling. Heartrate was 170. The ultrasound tech told us that over the next few weeks we'll start to see the heartrate go down as the nervous system matures and starts to have more control. I've got one more visit next week -- I "graduate" to my OB next Friday. I'll hopefully be able to go off the PIO injections and the Estrogen patches soon after. I guess I'll find out then. And speaking of PIO, C. hit a blood vessel (or vein... whatever) for the first time ever yesterday. Man, that gets messy. I bled all over the place. It was uglier than it was uncomfortable.

OK, here are the pictures... First, here are the embryos that they transferred:

This one's from 6w3d. It's the first time we saw the heartbeat. You can see the yolk sac below and to the right of the embryo.

This one's from 7w3d -- The yolk sac is to the left of the embryo. No heartrate was measured but the Dr. pointed out to us that the limb buds are beginning to form. Notice that the embryo is about twice the size of the yolk sac in a week's time.

These last two are from Friday. I'm 8w4d but the embryo is measuring 9w3d. The form of the body is really starting to get visible and the hand was wiggling when the pictures were being taken.

Overachiever!

2006-08-11T09:57:00.000-07:00

Had 2 appointments yesterday -- one with the RE and then my first OB appointment.

The RE appointment went great. It's the first time I've seen him since the positive beta. I saw the nurse practitioner for the first ultrasound. He gave me a hug, congratulated me and we got down to business. He pointed out that the first thing they do is look for the heartbeat and he saw that right away. As usual, I just saw big blobs of gray. I did notice that the embryo is now about twice the size of the yolk sac now. The first ultrasound showed them both about the same size. He didn't measure the heartrate today but said that the embryo is measuring almost 8 weeks. I was 7w3d yesterday. He showed me the limb buds, where the arms and legs will form and the brain and the spine. He also told me that everything looked great and there was nothing that was a cause for any concern at this point. Asked me if I wanted to come back in a week. "YES YES YES!" I can't get enough of seeing this little half-cheerio grow. Heck, it'll probably be bigger than a half-cheerio next week.

You should know that I've grown accustomed to sneaking away after lunch and going down to the parking garage to the bus for a nap. I usually get 45 minutes in and it literally gets me through the rest of my day. Yesterday was no exception. I had 90 minutes between the end of the RE appointment and the OB appointment so I went down to my car. It's amazing where one can sleep when they're completely dead on their feet. We've lent our full mattresses/frame to a friend and had them loaded in the car for delivery yesterday so the usual stretch on the back seat was unavailable. I'm not lying when I said that I tilted the steering up, piled up blankets on the center console and slept for over an hour in the public parking garage. Did I mention that I'm really tired? Man, I love the bus.

The OB appointment was very LONG. We got a pile of books and information. They drew blood, collected urine and did a PAP smear. Interestingly, she didn't mention "advanced maternal age" which made me feel better, and I got the impression that we're just average patients. That makes me feel good but yet kinda sad, too.

So next up is another RE appointment in a week, then the Full Integrated Prenatal Risk Profile in 4 weeks and another OB appointment the same day.

One isn't such a lonely number after all

2006-08-06T22:22:00.000-07:00

Well, no, I haven't dropped off the face of the earth but yes, we did have a not-so-natural disaster this week. Our house was flooded by a malfunctioning clothes washer. I came home to find that 7 1/2 hours of water ran all over the bottom floor of my house. It has not been a fun few days. The good news is that we got a really spiffy new washer and dryer set from the local Sears smash & dent store.

The even better news is that the ultrasound Thursday was just AWESOME. There's a little itty bitty singleton in there, measuring right on target (6w3d on Thursday) and has a heartrate of 120bpm. I get another peek Thursday in addition to my first OB appointment.

OK, gotta go get some laundry done!

OK final beta and "The paper" (TM)

2006-07-21T17:05:00.000-07:00

So I went into the clinic this morning for the final beta and while I was there, the DE Coordinator gave me "the paper"!

It looks like this:

ART PREGNANCY MANAGEMENT

Patient: (me)

Calculated last period: June 19, 2006

Ultrasound Due: August 3, 2006

Stop Support Medications: August 29, 2006

EDC (due date): March 26, 2007

Patient should remain on 2 Vivelle patches, changed every other day, and 1cc progesterone daily until above noted date. For any questions or concerns please call (xxx) xxx-xxxx. If ultrasound is performed outside (clinic), please FAX copy of OB ultrasound report to (xxx) xxx-xxxx.

So, I made the ultrasound appointment and also arranged to get my shots while C is out of town the weekend of August 4th. They called at lunchtime with the final number: 1875. YIKES!! I'm still soaking it all in. It's all so very overwhelming.

To tell or not to tell -- That is the question

2006-07-21T16:56:00.000-07:00

So let's just say this ends up working. The next big question is whether to tell about the whole donor thing or not. I say no. At least not tell anyone beyond family and very close friends. I'll let my child tell outside the family as they see fit. Really, I don't think it's any more complicated than that.

I'm stunned

2006-07-19T19:59:00.000-07:00

Do I actually have an honest-to-goodness real doubling beta?

Today's magic number is:

812

Did I mention that I'm stunned?

Last beta is Friday and I've been told that there are "dates and such" printed for me already and I'll get them Friday morning.

Thankyouthankyouthankyou to all of you guys that left comments and sent me private email. I enabled anonymous comments the other day and today I linked my email address for those that want to send mail without public comments. (Thanks for the suggestion, Julie!)

The numbers don't lie

2006-07-17T15:11:00.000-07:00

Today's beta is 348. Unfortunately my favorite beta website is down right now so I can't link to the chart, but I will as soon as the server's back up and running. In the meantime, here's a link to another beta site with some pretty good information. Keep in mind that today's number is:

17 days post hCG

15 days post ovulation (15dpo)

12 days post 3 day transfer (12dp3dt)

10 days post 5 day transfer (10dp5dt)

well, you get the drift.

blog comments

2006-07-17T14:20:00.000-07:00

OK by popular demand, I've enabled the anonymous comment configuration of this blog. You guys without a blogspot account... GO NUTS!